


Adrift (표류하다)

by badbye_planet



Category: GOT7, TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Friendship/Love, Multi, Post-High School, Romantic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-21 23:51:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16586678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbye_planet/pseuds/badbye_planet
Summary: These are the doubts coming from a broken heart that was reckless and lost and endlessly adrift.I don't know how this story will end... All I know now is: I am drifting apart from everything that I have once claimed to love. I am devastated, confused, alone and scared. But I need to finish what we've started. I can't turn back anymore now, and I'm haunted.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are the doubts coming from a broken heart that was reckless and lost and endlessly adrift.
> 
> I don't know how this story will end... All I know now is: I am drifting apart from everything that I have once claimed to love. I am devastated, confused, alone and scared. But I need to finish what we've started. I can't turn back anymore now, and I'm haunted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to armys, onces, blinks and ahgases by @badbye_planet. :)

"If you're pretending from the start like this; with a tight grip, then my kiss could mend your broken heart. I might miss everything you said to me. And I can lend you broken parts that might fit like this, and I will give you all my heart, so we can start it all over again."

-Over Again by One Direction 

* * *

  _What we could have been was everything you and I never knew we could be..._

* * *

_**[PROLOGUE]**_

I'm standing here desolated and waiting alone in the dark. I'd tell you I walked a thousand miles just to reach this place but I don't know how.

I haven't seen the city in a few months. How I missed this place. Oh, how I missed you. This lonely place reminds me of all the memories we've shared, both good and bad. It somehow makes me feel light-headed and dizzy. I have been craving for this feeling in so long and it have never gone away since. Reminiscing our good old memories just feels so nostalgic, so pure, bittersweet and wonderful at the same time. Without a warning, I walked towards the blinding light. I savoured and cherished the pure, bittersweet, and wonderful feeling all at once.

Suddenly, I felt the nostalgia taking all over my system. I don't wanna cry. No, I don't wanna cry. But before I have even realized, the rain has already gathered around my feet and the bucket of tears that I kept from falling are suddenly welling up in my eyes. I cannot see anything, but I can hear the sounds of an old clock inside a barren room. I'm still wondering exactly where it's coming from. I'm lost. For when I came here, I thought I knew where I was heading to, but it turns out I was completely mistaken 'cause now I'm held captive inside a dark frightening rabbit hole, continuously wandering aimlessly in the nowhere. But I still don't know exactly where I am going. For now, I'm just gonna let the wind decide and take me where it wants me to go to, I'm just gonna keep on walking towards the direction wherever my feet takes me.

_Where are you? Oh, you._

The noise of the rain crashing over the roof, the sounds of roaring thunder in the sky, my cold breath and sounds of little footsteps on the ground. I hear all these noises but why do I suddenly feel so lonely? These small raindrops  are like small pieces of tiny mirrors; they are pouring heavily like my eyes. Inside the pocket of this faded grey striped coat I rarely wear is the ring that you gave me, along with all the promises and the overwhelming memories. Without you, I feel so alone, insecure, vulnerable and scared. Without you, I am like a chair with a broken leg. And without you, I have no one else. I cry every night and struggle within again because of the agonizing pain. My head hurts so much these days cause I haven't been sleeping at all. I don't sleep because every night I become so scared. And I've decided that I don't wanna wake up to the agonizing pain anymore. The pitch black darkness that surrounds me and the frightening silent screams that I kept on hearing inside my head keeps me up all night and that alone is more than enough to drive me out of my mind.

_Why are you crying? We are the only ones in here. Me and you. Oh, you._

The umbrella became too small for the both of us, yet it still shielded us from the cold weather. It also seems much too big and awkward now. That even when we're under the same umbrella, it still feels like we're a thousand miles apart. My hands are cold, eyes are pooling, whole body is aching, breath is hitching, shoelaces are untied, undone, and all that's here with me is the rain and the wind. My heart and feet hurts so much from wandering all over this place. I'm all alone, tired, hungry, vulnerable, and scared. I patiently waited for you outside your place with an umbrella. I'm really tired but there is no one to hold it for a while. I kept on knocking at your door and tried to call for help but nobody seems to be home again. And I cried. I don't wanna be weak in front of anyone's eyes. So I never let nobody see me whenever I cry.

But no matter how hard I try pretending to be strong I always end up looking like a fool and no matter how hard I try to suppress these feelings, my shoulders always got so wet from all these tears I cried for you. I hung my head within the weight of all our fading memories.  Oh, how I wanted to turn back in time. How I wanted to go back to when I still have you here by my side, when everything between the two of us were still going fine. Can we try one more time and make it all better? Can we please go back to the very first page? Can we stop the tape and rewind? Cause right now, I am a spoilt mixture of scared, lonely, vulnerable, confused, devastated, adrift and lost. Lost in translation. Lost in life. Lost in you. Lost without you.

_I miss you so bad. But I can't do anything about it. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?_

If there's one thing I'm sure of right now, it is that I am currently uncertain of everything that's waiting to happen. I can't trust anything now --and there are times when being lost, like this, keeps on coming up to me and making me want to cry so bad, like loving you is a huge terrible mistake I've made, but I know that it's not. They were wrong. And although it hurts me so much, I keep on telling myself that you are not a mistake. No, you're not. You are a sweet serendipity, a beautiful angel, a happy accident, and a  precious gift. At least, to me. 

I am still scared, but I will keep on holding every breath for you as I wait. Even when it hurts me so much. Even when it's hard. And even when everything between us keeps falling apart. Tell me, how could I ever possibly forget you?

I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This is only the prologue of the story aha. Please keep reading until the next following chapters. :D
> 
> PS: I'm so sorry for the crappy flow of ideas. I will try harder to improve my way of writing hehe. :')
> 
> # Umbrella~~  
> #ForeverRain


	2. Letter to the Reader

**_"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay, and I'm falling to pieces..? Oh, I'm falling to pieces."_ **

* * *

*A short letter to _the reader_ *

Why is it so hard to get over a broken heart? Why can't it be that when you opened your eyes and woke up, the agonizing pain is no longer there anymore? Why do you have to keep on going back to all the hurtful words you heard over and over? Why can't you be instantly happy already and stop whining like a baby every night? Is it possible that even when your fading memories keep repeating itself in your head like an annoying old broken record, you won't feel a thing anymore?

What? Haven't you learned your lesson yet? Is it worth all the pain? Why do you always punish yourself over things out of your control? Why did you want to go through this heart-wrenching torture all over again?

Why did you have to listen to both of your favorite songs on loop, reread all his sweet & romantic messages, recall every single thing he promised you, exhale all the memories in pain, cry yourself to sleep every night and make yourself suffer just so you can finally feel numb?

And you know what's worse than doing all these stupid things? It's the mere fact that you are still going through hell, crawling and grieving for him, over-analyzing everything you said, how you've gone wrong, asking yourself if what you did was out of line or if you said something way too honest, thinking about the "if onlys" and "what ifs", thinking how on Earth are you gonna start moving forward with the overwhelming pain in your chest, when he's already moved on, when he's already happy with another but you still can't stop missing him..? Life is really unfair and tragic, isn't it?

And much worse? The emotional struggle and reservation you're probably gonna have to go through because you are expected to be able to love someone else the same way you loved that person before.

But you don't know if it's still possible for you to fall in love with another soul yet again and how you are going to love someone this time around.

I'm sure, all of my friends are now getting tired of their "Hey, Cols, you seriously need to get over it!" statement. That's probably the biggest problem with me. After promising all of my friends that this time, I will finally move on for real, at the end of the day, I kept asking myself the same bitter question --How the heck?

But you know, by now, I stopped trying. I have this feeling that I don't really have to move on, cause I know someday I'd finally reach that point, although, that's probably gonna take a very long time to happen.

I fell hard. I got broken. I stood up for the both of us, but he left me standing.

Then I met him -- the other guy.

I believed every guy's the same. Every guy is a jerk -- okay, let me check that.. Every guy I loved is a jerk.  Wait, I've only loved one guy so far.. But, that's not the point.

The point is: he's not a jerk. He's everything Shawn promised to be. He's everything I thought Shawn was - that was before Shawn became my biggest heartbreaker. 

His name is Namjoon. He's every girl's ideal guy. He's polite to everyone, in action and words. He's very smart and handsome, intelligent but never boring, straightforward but very respectful. He gave me all the reasons on why I should love him.

And yet, it seems that I can't. Not when I'm still in love with Shawn. Not when I still believe that maybe one day, Shawn is going to be back. 

Sorry for the awkward drama. Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Colynne Grace. And my life is a complete disaster.

I always look awkward. I'm afraid to be judged. I overthink way too much. I'm insincere, a pretender, a hypocrite. I'm not nice, just a pathetic liar. I'm weak and devastated. I'm annoyingly lazy, I get bored easily. I'm scared and I feel ignored most of the time. I'm full of disappointments and insecurities. 

I am not a drop-dead gorgeous, perfect, and lovable. I'm insecure, and always uncertain, people intimidate me.  

Do I sound pretentious yet? I know. You can now hate me.

People don’t magically fall in love with me.

I'm not out of your league.

I'm no angel.

This is my life and this isn't just a story. Happy endings are not guaranteed. This isn't even a fairytale. I am not a princess who already found her prince charming.

It's just me, Colynne and my stupid heartbreaks. 

_Wait, why am I telling you this? You won't probably like me anyways..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> To be completely honest I'm actually still struggling/debating on writing this because I've already started and I already have the plot in my head, but I am not a writer, especially not a fanfic/au story writer so I'm having an internal battle whether I should continue writing this. But for now let's see what I can do, hehehe. :D
> 
> Anyway, thanks for listening to my ted talk! ^^ ily :-)


	3. Letter to Shawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So many things that I wished you knew. So many walls up that we can't break through..
> 
> \--Colynne Grace wrote this letter to Shawn, her first love.

**_"The truth is beautiful but so are lies." -Ralph Waldo Emerson_ **

* * *

 To Shawn,

You are the sunshine that brightens me up in my darkest moments, the one who rescued my soul and keeps my sanity. You are my inspiration, the one that always sees the very best in me. The one that inspired me to become a better person and makes me strong enough to face and conquer all of my fears. You've seen me at my worse but still chose to stay here by my side.

You were the umbrella above my head; the one that shields me from the cold world and stops the rain from welling up on my feet. I am your shadow and you are my shade. You being here by my side is a habit. I can't be without you. You were my sweetest downfall; my beautiful rhythm and blues, the lover of my soul, healer of my scars, my worst distraction, my safe refuge, my favorite place, my sweet escape, my happy pill.

You are the love of my life; the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are my all in all.

And I have loved you so much that the only thing that mattered was not you, not me, but us. I have loved you so much that I started believing in forever. I have loved you so much that I forgot how love works. 

 Did I save you? I didn't.

But I have loved you so much to believe that perhaps I did. I have loved you so much to forget that all this time, you've been fighting all alone; that you've also been wounded, scarred and hurt from this love.

How could I ever possibly forget you...?

When I have loved you so much that I was so indulged with our own fairytale. I have loved you so much to believe that happy endings exist. But there is no such a thing as happy ending. There is no happiness in endings. They are always sad. 

Were you in love with me?

Yes, I know. You were, you are and you'll still be in love with me. But, love, being the kind of person that you are, you know that there are many things certainly worth choosing than being in love. You know about all those things and I don't.

I never gave up on you. You didn't give up on me, either. But what failed us is ourselves.

We gave up on ourselves...

I love you.

I love you so much that you were my biggest disappointment.

I love you so much that I started to think I might not be able to live a day without you.

I love you so much that I tried to get high and exhale all of our memories in pain.

I love you so much that letting you go might hurt a bit less.

I love you so much that it's getting harder to breathe whenever you're gone.

But I guess I might need to re-learn how to breathe again. I'll put my pen down for a while now and maybe get some sleep tonight.

Love,  
Colynne Grace. x

_**[Unsent letter]** _


	4. ALL CAST

_**Adrift Cast:** _

BTS

Kim Namjoon as Kimbo, Joonie or Joon --main character

Park Jimin as Jiminie/Chim **Iris's love interest (Twice Dahyun)

Min Yoongi as Yoongi ***Nariah's love interest (BP Jennie)

Jeon Jeongguk as Kookie/Kook --Colynne's friend and classmate

Kim Taehyung as Tae, V or Vinaye --Japanese guy

Kim Seokjin as Jin, Seokjinnie --Colynne's high school crush

Jung Hoseok as Hobi --Jin's close friend

**Caleb Joshua as Colynne's twin (imaginary character)

* * *

TWICE

Park Jihyo as Colynne Grace, main character

Dahyun as Iris, best friend *Jimin's gf

Sana as Julia, Colynne's classmate, **likes Namjoon

Momo as Hailee, Psych major, close friend

Mina as Safiya, cute friend

Jeongyeon as Bernice, CG's friend, Social work major

Chaeyoung as Mary Lizbeth, silent friend

Nayeon as Marianne Athena, *Joon's Ex

Tzuyu as Allison, adorable dorm mate :)))

* * *

 BLACKPINK

BP Jennie as Nariah Gwyneth Williams, also Nariah/Ayah **Yoongi's gf

BP Rosé as Ever Jeremie Bloom, architecture student

BP Lisa as Lily Stefani Matthews

BP Jisoo as Aoyori Chelsea Flynn

* * *

GOT7

Jackson Wang as Shawn --Colynne's first love

Bambam as Luigi Kahlel de Silva **Marianne Athena's current boyfriend

Mark as Marco Joaquin Auckland

Yugyeom as Stephen Morris Kang

Jaebum as Calum James Faulkerson

Jinyoung as ???

Holland as Troye

 


	5. Flashbacks and Echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tell myself it's time now, I gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head with overwhelming never-ending burning and reckless passion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't post any update here now and it seems that the page isn't working but I'm trying everything that I can. Please bear with me. ^^ I'll be posting an update very soon if the site permits. T^T :((

_**"Oh, I could say that I'll be all you need but that would be a crime. I know I'd only hurt you, I know I'd only make you cry. I'm not the one you're needing. I love you, goodbye.." -ILYGB by Nina** _

* * *

 

 ** *****FLASHBACK***  --**** March xxxx 9:39 pm, Saturday, 2 days before graduation

* * *

 "Oh God! Imagine I wasn't being serious here now?!" Colynne said rhetorically, still hurting because of the man's words yet she managed to smile sweetly.

"Wow, you really think after all this time I wasn't being serious about us? Oh! I thought you were smart, Shawn, if I wasn't serious about us, I never would have allowed myself to be a fool for you. If I wasn't serious with you, Shawn, I'm afraid I am not here anymore. If I wasn't serious about us, perhaps, I wouldn't have cried so hard because of you again last night."

Shawn remained in silence. He knew how he was wrong and Colynne Grace was right. His reasons weren't valid enough to get justified. Instead, he took a deep sigh and focused on the clouds right above them.

"Every time you hurt me, Shawn, intentionally or not, you never heard anything from me. I never said anything to hurt you back or to destroy you. I didn't say anything even if it hurts so bad, whenever I am in so much pain, whenever I get jealous, even when my lungs almost gave out crying for you every night. I never got angry at you. Even though loving you means getting the best of me, I did not complain, because I don't have the rights. 'Cause I know that won't make it right. Shawn, even when you ripped my heart apart and left me alone to bleed, I still hoped that one day you'll come back again and save me."

He let the woman say everything he didn't want to hear.

"It hurts like crazy but I just went along with it. I would just smile through the pain, because for you, I'm a lovesick fool. I believed you, Shawn, I still haven't lost hope because I kept holding on to your words, because you promised, Shawn. You promised me..."

Her voice trailed off. She's trying to calm herself down because she's finding it too hard to breathe again.

They were both suppressing their own set of mixed feelings & emotions, while looking at the bunch of constellations above and the beautiful blue crescent moon, along with the brightest shining stars.

Suddenly, a warm teardrop found its way to stream down the man's left eye and Colynne watched as it slid on his high bridged-nose, his cheeks, and down to his defined jawline. She suppressed herself from crying because she knew that the moment she wept, she's gonna lose her composure completely and could no longer say what she had to say.

The least thing that she wants to happen now is to make Shawn see how hard this situation is for her. She has to look brave now. Brave enough to let him go for the last time.

"I kind of hate you but--"

Before Colynne even finished her words, Shawn abruptly took her hands and held her tight.

She blew on the air and shook her head before saying: "Do not cry anymore, please, Shawn. Please don't make it any harder for the both of us."

Colynne laughed at the handsome man acting like a little kid-- she let him hold her hand but she didn't grasp for his as tight as how he is holding hers.

"What??? You think you look brave right now?" Shawn asked to get her attention. He wanted to meet the beautiful woman's beautiful eyes but she's looking away somewhere else.

He looked at her and, still, he couldn't believe the mess he had made again. Colynne Grace is everything everyone wanted to be and wanted to have. Aside from her pretty face, beautiful eyes and her dashing smile, she has the brain, she has a sincere heart that takes the person she loves seriously; she's not selfish, she's down to earth, she loves to make people happy, even if it ends up hurting her. And by now, she's doing another favor for Shawn-- letting him go.

"Why do people keep on wishing on shooting stars?" Colynne suddenly asked wiping her fresh tears on the cheeks.

"Maybe, 'cause it's the only hope they got."

Colynne looked at her metallic-pink ivory plated wristwatch. "It's almost twelve midnight. So, are we done now? Are we clear yet?" she smiled. 

"Are you leaving me for good now?"

"Colynne Grace, I'm sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry? It should be me, I should be the one who is sorry. I'm sorry for holding you back, Shawn, I know I've always been the selfish one. I've always thought we both define love the same way. I was wrong. I'm sorry for...for this. Perhaps if I had stopped insisting myself on you anymore then, perhaps, we wouldn't have gotten to this point."

"Colynne!" Shawn grabbed her two hands again and hugged her much tighter than the way he ever did before. "Ne?" He stopped holding back all his suppressed tears this time. He let the streaming of tears flow down his cheeks freely while resting his head on her left shoulder. His light green shirt had already turned dark green from non-stop crying. He was disgusted with himself, he hated himself because Colynne is hurting again and he's the reason behind all of it. But he knew this is all for the best. "Can you promise me that you'll get better soon? Please be happy. Make yourself happy. Yaksokhae-yo?" (Promise me?)

She stroked Shawn's hair with her free hand, "I'm not good at making promises, Shawn, please stop crying. If I were the one to choose, I wish it would be me again. But then, this is a long-awaited closure between the two of us, ain't it? It's gone, it's over, and I know you're happy. Can you let me go now?"

One last time, Colynne smiled for Shawn, the same old fake smile. Finally, he let go from holding her hand but before she left, he hugged her again.

"I'm so sorry."

"We don't say sorry on things that we do for the best. Hajima." Colynne pulled back, "I regret nothing, okay? I love you."

She smiled with the sweetest smile she could muster before walking away.

"Mianhae." (I'm sorry.)

Colynne is gone now. Shawn is all alone.. "I love you, too."

Shawn knew all along that he isn't the guy who can make her happy. He doesn't deserve a girl like Colynne Grace. He knew that keeping her will only hurt them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking time to read this story! ^^ I appreciate all of you!!! :) -jams xx


	6. That Guy Named Joonie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 - That Guy Named Joonie
> 
> Setting: Inside a condo-unit-converted-to-dorm for ladies, 7:45, fifteenth floor

"You’re just like a butterfly. From afar, I steal glances; if we touch hands, will I lose you? You shine in this pitch darkness that's the butterfly effect.

Your light touches, I forget the reality. You’re there but for some reason, I can’t reach you, stop! You, who’s like a dream is a butterfly high to me." -Butterfly BTS

* * *

 

Today is Saturday and I'm going to have dinner at my cousin's house tonight. She called me just now and told me she's having a friendly house-warming celebration and asked if 8:30 pm will work for me.

I don't have anything much to do so I said yes and confirmed that I'll attend. I have forty minutes left so I hurriedly took a shower and prepared myself to get dressed. I raided my closet to look for something casual to wear. I found a very cute laced baby pink tank-top with a cupcake design and picked a faded light blue denim jeans to pair with it. Just when I'm almost ready to go, thank goodness I remembered I haven't plugged my phone off the charger yet so I ran into the unit again, took my phone, hid it inside my bag and ran for dear life before it gets too late.

Fast forward and I've arrived at my cousin's house. I looked around. The house is amazingly huge but with a friendly ambiance. There's a garden of small plants and colorful flowers near the terrace. There's also an angel statue displayed on both sides of the blue water fountains. I love it! As I was hoping for people I know to meet here, my cousin noticed me entering the house and greeted me with a warm smile and a kiss on both cheeks. Then she asked me to go inside since she's still talking to some girls whom I would assume are her friends. I went inside and ran into an old friend I wasn't expecting to see like.. Nope, never. We exchanged greetings awkwardly then he sat on the same table as me. It was very unfortunate for me. My bad, I was surprised he even sat next to me! I feel my stomach growling! Maybe because I'd barely eaten anything yet.

But, of course I had to keep my cool. Although I am currently slapping myself mentally to recover from the shock and stop my eyes from being glued at his face all the damn time. Instead, I focused my attention to the beautiful mellow song that's playing and sang to it.

"Ooooh wow, you know that song, too?" He asked, amazed. "Um yeah, one of my favorite." I replied shyly and he chuckled at me. Then I felt a sudden tickle in my neck so I let out a soft giggle. Then I felt someone playing with my hair. I looked at him to see if he's the one trying to tickle me but he's already fading away from my vision....

"Colynne Grace, wake up! Gracie? Oh, Gracie!" I heard a woman with a sweet voice singing. Then I felt someone pinching my cheeks. I opened my eyes, only to see Iris around. It's already bright in here. I looked inside. The windows are opened and the light is turned on. My head hurts and my eyes are still droopy and I can hear Allison, our first year roommate, watching a Korean drama on a cable TV from the other side of the unit.

"What?!!" I asked her, with my eyes halfway closed, almost irritated. I yawned. Oh, gosh, wait. Why is she in her uniform and why am in my pajamas?

"I came here to wake you up. Your first subject starts at 8:30 and it's already 7:45. Come on! Stand up now. I won't wait for you, gf. Ha, unless you don't take a bath and--"

"NO WAY!!!" The reality sinked in to me. Sweet Jesus! I WAS DREAMING!!!!!!!!

"Oh yes way, hunny. Hurry up now cause I gotta Zayn. Badbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" She dashed out of the door, leaving a trail of panic within me. I stood up from the bed, or jumped, rather. And of course... PAK! BOOGSH! That was how it sounded. OUCH!!! :( I cupped my forehead. I just got hit by the solid iron that supports the top bunk of this double-decker bed. I almost peed my pyjamas from the impact. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Okay, back to the story.. :))) This condo unit turned into dorm isn't really that bad. In fact, I find it really cozy and cool. It has a spacious floor area, a living room with sofa set, a cable TV then there's a mini-dining table, a microwave, a mini-fridge, and it's fully airconditioned. Inside the bedrooms, there are closets as well as study tables and a veranda where I saw Ever, an architecture student on her third year, sipping her hot chocolate. There's also WiFi here, and that's one thing I've always considered: the availability of fast WiFi connection. And since this unit is turned into a dorm, we must be all-in at 10:30 pm, another the reason why I love befriending guards hehehehe.

UGH HOLD UP! I ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH!!!! I'm going to be really late now. Huhuhuhu why did you keep on chattering with me???  
*Ugh, Colynne Grace they're not the one to blame if you're late. @_@*

Ok? But, whatever! Where's my phone???? I set the alarm clock at 7 am last night!!!! °---° ALARM CLOCK, ALARM CLOCK.. What the heck?!! It's set at 7 pm. Phew! Sometimes it's really better to check twice. :"(

I forced myself to bathe fast. And I didn't have time to open the heater so I was shivering from the cold like a fat penguin. It took me forever to get dressed and check my things.

[A/N : Ugh, Colynne! Stop with the monologue please!!!]  (￣ω￣;) CG: >>>>> "Urgh, fine!!" :/

"Monday, 8:24 am" reads the digital clock on my study table. Ha-ha-ha. WOW I AM SO LATE! HOW UNLUCKY, I thought to myself.

While on the trip, I was already practicing my lines on how to start my grand entrance to my first subject.

You know the feeling that there's no available FX so you're compelled to ride on a jeepney? Although, I have nothing against riding one, but, not until now when driver made it function like a waiting shed and thanks to him, I'm really really super late now. I speed-walked to get to the building where the room to my first subject is located; on the fourth floor. And then, here comes the worst part: the teacher is not yet around. *facepalm* Bruhhhh, am I asleep?? Am I awake???? Am I in between??? IDEK @_@ #

$%^&*@_+=$"--Ooooops! I did not cuss hhhhh. :)))

"Hey, Miss, the professor was here earlier, but, then she left early since they have an urgent meeting."

"But, uhm, you can ask for your hand-outs from.. Uhhhhh, what's the name again...???? Junick? Ah, yes that's it! I'm Aoyori." She extended her right hand to me and I did the same gesture, shaking her hand.

"Thanks, Colynne Grace by the way. Junick, right?"

"Yup." She pointed someone to me at the back, near the window, then I approached the person.

"Hi, classmate!" I said with my cheeriest voice.

NO RESPONSE.

"Hi, Junick??!" I asked her again, this time, standing right in front of her. Her earphones were plugged in and I just heard Justin Bieber's Despacito playing.

"Junickkkkkkk." I almost shouted at her. -_____-Vv

"Yeah?" Gosh, finally!

"Hand-outs, please?"

"Handouts?? Ah, I don't have the hand-outs. Just ask that guy, maybe." she pointed at this guy behind him and then, she slightly turned red? She likes him?? Oh god, how would I not know. She's blushing like a tomato sauce, yikes!

"Huh?? Wait. WHAT?????? So, you're not Junick or Jennick or whatever?"

"Nope, I am Julia. And that's Joonie. Hey, Namjoon!"

I looked past her. And apparently the Junick guy is there watching me all this time looking like a fool. Ugh. Whatever! Pft. Wow, he's really looking back at me. He's this guy with a very nicely combed black hair and almost tanned skin but considering the other guys in class, his skin colour is lighter.

"Hi. May I get my hand-outs, please?" Again, I put up a good smile.

"You're late."

"Well, yeah. Obviously...?" He knitted his eyebrows so I smiled immediately and awkwardly added "sir."

"Fix up your sleeves. You might get caught when rolling them up. This ain't a fashion show, hun, attendance first." He smiled at me.

I processed his words.. Wait....!!! DID HE JUST??! >_<

"Excuse me, sir, am I dressed like a fashion model to you?!" I snapped at him.

"What? Are you saying something??"

"NO! You're hearing things." I can't stop my sarcasm. Ugh. "Obviously!"

I went back to the fourth floor for Sociology. I met some friends, Hailee and Safiya, who shares most of my subjects in the same class. But bad news is: they're not my only classmates, also the Junick guy. Fine, Namjoon. He's taking up the same course with a different major.

After having lunch at a fast food with Iris, I immediately changed my uniform for my P. E. class. Bad news: conflicting schedules with the teacher, so now guess what?? Vacant time. I changed clothes for nothing.

"Let me do that." His cocky voice ringed in my ears and he flashed his annoying dimpled smile at me again. Is this guy really trying to get on my nerves? 'Cause I tell you, it's so effective, considering that I am the kind of person who don't easily get annoyed, irritated or pissed off. Okay, that was a joke, I lied. Actually I easily get annoyed, irritated and pissed off with everything. I just don't let it show.

"Can't you trust me?!" I pulled the yellow pad back to my chest and--- I accidentally touched the palm of his hands that made his smile turn into a wide, dimpled grin.

"No offense. I'll do it. Seriously, just go back to sleep again."

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. :))))))))))))))))))))) Calm thy tits, Colynne Grace. Do not be fooled.

"Sleep tight now, Sleeping Beauty." His voice is seriously mocking me. What stupid things have I ever done in my first life to get stuck with this guy? Grrrrr.

"Nerd." I chuckled and gave him my best smile.

"You said what???" He raised an eyebrow. "Nerd?" "A responsible student rather."

"Yeah, yeah. That's why you keep on texting while in class." I talked back. 

"Says the girl who lost her copy of syllabus on the first day of class!" He laughed at me again I could no longer think of any more bitter comeback.

"Gay." I whispered. But, I made sure he heard it. I stared at his face and he stared at me. No sparks or whatever, not even a lightning bolt! I smirked at him. Then, we just glared at each other. And he looked away first. Ten points for Gryffindor!! (¬▂¬)

"Brat." I heard him whisper under his breath and he looked at me again with his playful dimpled smile, painted on his almost handsome face only if he really wasn't an apple. [Epal in Tagalog] "Just kidding." He smiled with both of his eyes closed and with all his might.

Annoying. *-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's wrong with this site????? I still can't post anything T^T 
> 
> \--omg wait oh my lord!!!! Ty jesus sunbae-nim now I can!!! ^^


	7. Let's Get Things Straight

_**"The world will never know how sad I am. My pain is water and oil that can’t mix. So only above the surface of the water do I breathe, and the interest towards me ends. A child in the lonely ocean." -Whalien 52, BTS** _

* * *

 

Ha, this Namjoon guy is seriously getting into my nerves. Grrrr! He kept looking at my direction, he's half-smiling, half-mocking me again and watching my every move with no apparent reason. It's downright comical how everyone keeps on telling me that he actually is a nice and friendly guy but a part of me is also screaming that he is actually a jerk. Hello, this isn't a love-hate romantic comedy movie. This is reality and the reality is saying to me that he needs to jump off a cliff and stay away from me already cause his entire existence itself is really really annoying.

Okay, maybe I'm just overreacting but as much as I tried not to hate him, this is what he did to me last Wednesday:

N: Hey, I got a joke. Do you know what kind of animal knows how to say "why"?

C: Ha-ha. You're so annoying. Shut up!

N: Just take a guess. You'll laugh, I promise.

C: I don't want to know.

N: Monkey!

C: Huh? Why??

15 seconds of awkward silence. Then he burst out laughing while slapping and tapping repeatedly into his armchair. Apparently, I am the fourth victim. For sure, my classmates who are listening to him tell that stupid joke are also laughing at me now.  
  
That guy is really trying to piss me off, I swear to God.

 And to make things even worse, I was betrayed by fate once again. It was Friday then, first meeting for one of my subject. You know, we all have these one kind of a heck of a day. This is what happened: I found out that I left my list of schedule at home and I completely have no idea now on where the hell the room for my Sociology is located. So, the most logical thing for me to do is consult the Dean's Office. I walk past through many classrooms to check if there's anyone I know anyone from my class, then, I passed a room that has its backdoor ajar. I poked my head inside and little did I know that, that fateful happenstance would change my life forever. *Just kidding. u_u Maybe??

"Gracie?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"Uhh, hi. Uhhh.. Uhm." And I got my tongue tied. I don't want to go inside, so, I stayed in the doorway outside

"What are you doing here???"

"Uhh, what am I doing here?" 

"Ahhhhhhhhh, nevermind." I was about to close the door when I suddenly remembered something.......he's acquainted with Hailee and Safiya, and maybe, he knows their whereabouts. "Oh! Wait, can I ask you something?"

"I have a girlfriend," he chuckled. And he gave me that cocky-dimpled grin.

"Kidding. :) What you need, Gracie?" He sang.

"It's okay. I still have a bit of sanity left in me, so, uhh, thanks."

"You came to tell me something very important, right?"

"Nope. Nothing to tell you, so, I guess I have to go now."

"Gracie, wait, let's get things straight. First of all, do you like me? Second, I am not gay and I do not just kiss random girls. Third, if yes is your answer to my first question, I want to thank you but, sorry, I'm already dating someone. And fourth, we can still be good friends."

(^_^)....(^_^;)....( ._. )....(´･_･')....(O_O)....(⊙﹏⊙)....(ಠ益ಠ)

"W-wh-what? You think I was about to confess?"

"Well, isn't that why you came here on the first place...?"

"Of course not!!"

"Okay... doesn't change the fact that I am already dating someone." He just shrugged his shoulders. He shrugged me off. Ugh, Namjoon!!! Kim friggin' Namjoon! Remember the name.

\---------

Setting: University Court, Saturday, Orientation for sorry-I-don't-know-how-to-say-the-name.

It's really warm today and we're having our orientation for I-don't-even-know-what, so don't ask me, either. I can't see anyone I know from the huge crowd of students. What's even worse is, I got separated from Iris and I forgot to bring my phone with me so I have no way to contact her. It's already been an hour since I went to the restroom to change my pad. Yes, I know 'cuz my wristwatch told me so....and then, when I came back to look for Iris, BOOM! She's gone again. Now, I feel so drained and I have no one with me. My head hurts so bad. I feel nauseated and I could barely breathe. I want to go home so bad.

Thank goodness, red days have to suck for me all the time. I'm really lucky I'm all alone in this crowded place while feeling lethargic plus the cursed painful period cramps. I feel so alone, I could cry. But, I didn't try to look for Iris cause I know, for sure, she's with her boyfriend. They left me here to bleed. AGAIN. *Ouch!* Sorry, I slipped on my own tears. T^T

Nope. I'm not crying. Just sobbing. :))

I'm clingy as hell and that smol boi snatched my best friend again without my permission. Now I'm all alone in this big crowded place. I'm feeling so single. I hate this feeling. It's hard when your best friend has already found the love of her life and you're still single, cause you'll probably be a third-wheel like me when that happens. No, scratch that-- not just probably because that's almost FOR SURE. T___________T *sobs quietly in Korean satoori*

\------  
After the super long and draining orientation, I felt one out of my two brain cells combust, explode, and die. I'm seriously planning to go home straight. I feel a little better now, but, I feel like I need to take a rest immediately or I will pass out.

(Of course you couldn't let that happen to your least favorite protagonist, right?? :'< lol)

So, I headed straight to the terminal nearby and lazily shoved myself inside the jeepney. And as soon as I was seated, I noticed a familiar face sitting next to me. Oh my god! Why is this guy even here?! He's so...!! Ugh! God. I. Am. So. Tired. I feel sick of this guy already. Please, spare my poor, unfortunate soul! Let. Me. Rest. Please. God. Why. Today. @_@ Dang it, this is so cliché!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrr. I'm really pissed now. I swear! I hate this day! Ugh. I swear, again. This guy thinks I fell for him on the first week of our meeting. What does he think of me now? Easy-to-get, oh-my-god-he-is-so-handsome, I should sit next to him girl?? @___@

Author's Note: Calm down, Colynne Grace. You're cool. Pull yourself together now, okay? ILYoongi. :')

"Gracie?"

"Yeah?" I rolled my eyes to show him I'm not interested.

"Uhm, you get this to 'manong', here, I'll pay."

"For me??" I asked stupidly.

He stared at me blankly and replied, "For us. Here, take it and pay to manong already."

He handed me a fifty-peso bill and I felt his fingertips on the palm of my hands. Why are they so cold?

"Thanks, but I have money. :) Do I look like a beggar to you?" I asked, still irritated and not wanting to be indebted to him.

"No. But, come on! I'm the guy here so I'll take care of it."

"Save it, Joon! I haven't forgot what you did to me yesterday and now you're acting like a good guy! Wait, are you even a 'guy'?"

"Manong, it looks like this young lady right here have no plans on paying for our fares anytime of this day."

"What are you trying to do, huh?!" I pulled the money away from him with all my might and courteously extended it to an older man seated in the opposite direction of us.

"Manong, **bayad po, dalawa. (**fare for two) Yung isa Sto. Domingo, *yung isa dalhin nyo na sa Marawi." (*dump him to Marawi, please.)

Everyone on the jeepney, and those who heard it, including Namjoon laughed. I handed to him the change. I want to strangle him right here, but, maybe now is not the right time yet. :D So, I calmed myself again.

Joon: "You're welcome, Gracie! Manong, sa kanto lang po. Para!" (*Para-- to stop the jeepney)

"Uy, I have to go now, b--"

"Sige na. :) Get lost, BYE!" -Colynne

What. A. Funny. Day. To. Disappear.


	8. Stop Smiling Too Much!

**_"Hello hello (what!) Hello hello (what!) Tell me what you want right now? Hello hello, (what!) Hello hello (what!) I'mma give it to you girl, right now. You're not mine but you're the best. My body twists and turns in front of you. I want to approach you but you're seriously too beautiful. I'll pop my pimple again later because of you." -Yes, that's BTS' Hormone war. ;)_ **

**_\--_ **

_You're welcome! :D Ha ha ha please continue reading below. Thanks for sticking with the story! ;)_

* * *

You ask why I don't like this Joonie guy? First, he's good-looking and most of the good-looking guys are actually jerks in the making. Second, he's egoistic and most of the time, arrogant -- first impressions and I hope they won't last. Third, I was really embarrassed last Friday. Okay, maybe, it wasn't his fault. I know. I hate my pride, too. Fourth, for no apparent reason, I just do. It's like he exudes this certain aura that will either make you like him or hate him, there's nothing in between.

I was sitting alone on a wooden bench, talking to myself peacefully and I was really on a good mood when Namjoon saw me all of a sudden. So, what he did is he left his friends on the other side of the lobby to smoothly go to the bulletin board on my back and near me. Then, of course, when he approached me, all the hell broke loose.

"You had a new haircut? Very nice! I guess, someone turned you down?" 

See?? How can you NOT hate him?! He's too cocky and he thinks he got me last time!! Can he please get over it and stop messing with me already?? He's ANNOYING as hell!!

"With this face? You think, I'm going to be rejected? Duh." I said annoyed then rolled my eyes 364 times back and forth. It's really annoying whenever he's around, his presence makes me suddenly turn into beast-mode. Like, hello? I'm Colynne Grace and I'm cool. (ー_ー )

"Really? I believe, I just did. Last Friday. Remember?" ;D He said cockily.

Sheesh! My broooooooooooooothaaaaaaaa, if I could only lift this wooden bench and slap it real hard on the annoying dimpled-smile he had in his face, I already did a thousand times. Grrrrrrrrrrrr! I was sitting on this wooden bench very peacefully, having the greatest soliloquy of my life and this guy had the guts to interrupt my business. I mean, I'm pretty sure there's no "HEY, I'M SO LONELY PLEASE NOTICE ME SENPAI-CHAN" sign posted on my face, right? (@___________@#)

He's gotten to that point of annoying me so much that my petty self would rather not eat my KitKat chocolate sundae if that means I'd have to miss the chance of hitting his almost-handsome-but-very-annoying face with a large baseball bat really really hard. Until he gets bruised and bleeds and dies. Hhhhhhhh. Not a joke, guys! Serious. :)))))))))))))))))))

"Hello, I was just kidding?" I said very calmly, even though I shot him with a silencer too many times already in my head but he's still alive! The last thing I want to happen is to get pissed off by this guy again. 

"Hmmmm ..." He diverted his attention to the bulletin board in my back.

"Acquaintance party, June **. Hmmmm, should I go? Uhh, what do I have to say again? I forgot... Ah, yes --that maybe you have a crush on me?"

"Wow, you really think you're good enough for me?! Duh. I'm so gorgeous!"

"Should I take that as a joke, too?"

"Ahh, this b/tard/ GRRRRRRRRRR d@mN#&&#&$-+$$+?!"

"Calm down, Calm down! I was just kidding, too!!"

"We're classmates in Sociology, right? It's almost time. Come on, let's go." He loosened my ponytail which made me even more pissed. I almost kicked his balls, but, I didn't because I'm Colynne. I'm cool.

\--

After having lunch, we changed into our P. E. uniform for P. E. Class. And, because of the hassle I received from the jerk earlier, I left my hair untied the whole day -- much to Hailee's dismay.

"Let me tie your hair up!"

"Eh? No! I like it more this way."

"Come here, Bernice. Hold her hands!"

"Aye! Copy that, ma'am."

"What the hell --GUYS!!!!" They pinned my hands. On the left side: Bernice, on the right side: Mary Lizbeth. Yeah, so, they're my classmates from the block section of Social Work where I got mixed in. By the way, Hailee and I are Psychology students.

"Will you please calm down!" Bernice shouted at me. "Just kidding hehehe. But, hey did you know, Namjoon and I became classmates during our second year in high school? And I've heard he likes girls with ponytails."

"I never asked you, and why's that guy included in our topic again?" Instead of holding back and fighting them, I let them do what they ought to do. Excuse me, I don't wanna be a "Bald-jeet" here.

"Cause you have a crush on him, that's why."

"W-wh-what?? Who told you?" The other girls around began looking in our direction, and my reflection instantly went a shade of red.

"He's my classmate in the pilot section last year. D'ya want me to set you up with him?" Mary Lizbeth whispered again in her monotone way.

"Liz? Urgh. I like that Joaquin guy, not him. Okay? Knock it off, guys."

"Well, we know for a fact that you're just saying you like Joaquin, But, Namjoon really is THE ONE."

"Hmm-hmm," Mary Lizbeth nodded. (@__________@)

"Why are you guys pushing me over Namjoon anyway?"

"Hmmmm....cause we think you'd look good together?"

Finally, Hailee's done tying my hair. It's a French-styled side bangs that earned lots of praises from them. "Wow, hair goals!" "Kyeopta!" "Your hair is really gorgeous!"  
\-----  
After turning me into a play doll, we went to the University Court for our PE class. We sat down the benches while watching other students having their try-out for table tennis on the other side of the multi-purpose hall. 

And then out of nowhere, Hailee suddenly shouted beside me. "Joonie! Hey! Namjoon!"

"HAILEEEEEEEE!!!" I stood up, ready to evacuate because tropical disaster Kim Namjoon is about to happen.

"Colynne Grace-chingu! Yah, when you leave, that means you really like him." Hailee warned.

And even though I don't really like that guy, I made up my mind to just sit down. Nothing bad will happen, nothing bad will happen. Okay. Calm down.

"Why?" His voice, almost sweet, ringed in my ears. I flashed him my best smile, hoping that he would get annoyed.

"Do you find Colynne Grace attractive?" I let out a funny noise --a grunt or a laugh.

"Why'd you even have to ask? Of course I am." I said, gaining back my composure. He's now smiling at me as if I just said something very interesting.

Urgh, he's an *apple, really! [Manzanas in Spanish, also, //jerk or/ep4L ://]

"Huh? JOON??!" Well, thank you, friend! She even pronounced his name with so much emphasis and conviction as if implying that I am not the one she's talking to, that I better keep my mouth shut.

Uh, Colynne, can you just busy yourself with your phone?? Maybe, just send Iris a text message, ask where the hell she is, how she's doing, what she's doing, what exact time and where you will meet later. Just do it! Okay?

"Hmmmm," He sat down the floor in front of me. And I can actually feel it, he's looking at my face very intently. Because I'm Colynne, I became so anxious that I forgot the message I was about to text Iris. "Why do you ask?" -Namjoon

"Wow, you love being suspense! Do you find her attractive? Huh??? What's your answer?"

"I know I'm gorgeous, you don't have to ask."

"Answer me!!!! Hey, JOON?!" Again. The emphasis. Thank you, friend. (-__________-#)

"She is --especially when she smiles."

I'm pretty.. I'm pretty.. I'm pretty sure he winked at me!! What??! And on top of that, I just can't stop smiling. :// I know!!!! Don't blame me, blame my facial muscles! Grrrrrrrrr. Stupid facial muscles, stupid teenage hormones! -_____-

"What are you looking at?!" Instead of rolling my eyes, I accidentally smiled more sweetly at Namjoon. My God, I just don't like flirting with guys and by now, I'm sure, I'm looking awkward and he knows it because his stupid dimpled-smile even became wider.

What the hell is wrong with this guy???! First, he's very cocky, then he's trying to act cool and now, he's trying to be charming. PMS'ing? Like a horré?? Hello?! He's more bipolar than my bed hair.

"Hmmm..Gracie? Stop smiling too much or many guys will start chasing after you."

*Blah blah blah blah blah.*

I rolled my eyes and went back to texting Iris. Ugh! _Come on, you've got to reply faster before you find your best friend melting here like an ice cream!!!! O_O_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS WAS KIND OF SHORT!  
> It's just that some of the next chapters are pretty long and will be out hopefully soon hehe :D


	9. Who Are You, My Mom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me through this journey of writing. I found writing this story somewhat cathartic (helping me through my current kpop/drama obsession hehe) and I hope to improve my storytelling as I continue to write more. ^^ -jams xx

_**"Cheotnune neol araboge dwaesseo. Seorol bulleowassdeon geotcheoreom. Nae hyeolgwan sok DNA-ga malhaejwo. Naega chaja hemaedeon neoraneun geol. Uri man-"** _

* * *

 *Slide to stop alarm* - uhhh! Snooze!! Please shut up!!!! =_____=Vv

"Gracie, wake up!"

"Ten more minutes, please?"

"No. Wake up now, come on!" Here she comes again jumping on my bed like a kid. She pulled my blanket and of course, I pulled it back. Then I let go of it causing her to stumble. "Ouch!! Colynne Grace!!! Stand up!" 

"PLEASE!!!" I rested my head under the pillows. Tell me how can I sleep peacefully with her around?? =___=# This friend. Seriously.

"GET. UP. NOW!"

 "Iris!!!! Five, freaking, peaceful minutes!!" I groaned.

"Why? If I let you sleep for five more minutes, you think you won't feel sleepy again? Come on, get up."

"Aaaaaaaaahh, jinjja!!!!!" I gave her one of my morning glares. This friend seriously, she's not only a friend. Sometimes she acts like a mother, sometimes a brother, sometimes a teacher, oftentimes an alarm clock, the most annoying yet effective alarm clock. I looked at myself in the mirror. Aside from the eyebags around my eyes, I look like a haggard contestant that came from a running marathon. For heaven's sake! My first subject is 8:30 and Iris started jumping on my bed at 7:05 am. 

I don't even want to eat anything yet. 10:30 am is my break time up until 1 pm, so, maybe I'd just eat my brunch during break. Oh, and speaking of 1 pm, we have our reportings on Earth-Sci. And dang, I just got really lucky cause out of ten groups, I picked the piece of paper with number one written on it. Grrrrrrrrr! I JUST REALLY HATE MY LUCK!!!!!!!!! ( ಠ_____________________ಠ ) 

And can this day get any worse? My first subject : Mathematics in the Modern World. And oh wait, I share the same class as that annoying jerk with a dimpled smile in Earth-Sci. Urgh! Can I just go back to my sleep already? Please? ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)#

Okay, so I decided to get up already even though I still want to sleep. Miss Ever, our third year dorm mate is already taking a bath and according to Iris, because I bathe for too long, I should be next.

"Are you siblings?" Allison asked.

"No." We answered in chorus.

"You resemble each other."

"No. *Lugi ako!!" We both said in Tagalog* as if we say that every day to everyone who ask if we're siblings.

Look, I don't get how Iris and I have a resemblance.. Iris is more of a cutie with those braces and I'm more of... ugh I don't want to lift my own chair lmao. But trust me, we look nothing alike. 

\----  
MATHEMATICS CLASS @____@

I never hated Math, not until our teacher placed this annoying jerk beside me and assigned him as my partner. This is so cliché again. And he's too loud and loquacious I wonder if he's really a man.

"Can you not ...." Uhhhh. What's the best word again??? "Can you not exist?!!"

His brows knitted, then he exhaled a half-laugh. And to piss me even more, he cupped his chin and stared at me intentionally while doing the seatwork. "Even if I don't exist, I would still be that dream guy people talk about on fictional fan-girling stories."

"Yeah," was the only thing I was able to say. This jerk is full of himself and he's egotistical and too cocky. "You could be the vampire 'cause you suck."

"Oh," he clutched his hand to his chest and pretended to get hurt over-dramatically. "And you could be the witch." He spat and smiled at me.

I gave him one of my death glares. If glaring is a crime, I would not only get penalized but will probably rot in jail forever.

"Hermione Granger," he winked at me. And I made sure he was no longer looking when I smiled. I swear, I couldn't stop my facial muscles from smiling. But of course I couldn't let him see or else he'd start pestering me even more with his cockiness.

"Can you please stop hitting on me?!" I snapped fake-irritated.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

"It's Levi-O-sa." And after our 5-second awkward eye connection, he grinned at me implying that I just fell for his Hermione trap.

....."Why do you keep on following me??!" I asked Namjoon who kept following all my tracks. Okay, perhaps, I am just assuming that but, hello? How will I not suspect when I'm already here in Euphorbia Building, (near the university's back gate) where walked a thousand miles cause here is where I'm supposed to meet Iris and when I looked back, he's here again.

"I'm not following you, I swear. This is where I pass by usually."

"Yeah, whatever floats your boat. Pabo." I started walking again before I get pissed. Then I saw Iris with her friends where they're supposedly watching a chess match. Except the space is too crowded to even see what's really happening and there's so many people surrounding the chess table.

"Iris!" I waved at her.

"Uh yeah, wait for me, I can't see anything anyway. So, let's go?"

Then literally, I had goosebumps all over my body when someone suddenly spoke closely behind me. "Uhhhh Gracie, don't you wanna introduce me to your friend?"

"Nope! Bye-bye," Iris gave me a nudge. Friend, what the heck??

"Fine, so, Iris meet Namjoon, Namjoon meet Iris. Okay, are we clear yet? Good. Come on now, Iris, let's go!!!!!!"

 "Hey, I'm Namjoon."

"Iris." She extended her right hand and shook hands with him.

"I hate to break the news, Kimbo, but, my friend Iris, is already taken.-- What are you waiting for, Iris? Come on. Let's go!"

"But Colynne Grace is single," Oh my god. Will you please shut up, Iris?! *facepalm emoji* I pulled her to my side before she can blurt out any more nonsensical things again.

"Really? Hmmm.. I wonder why." His mocking dimpled-smile is present again. I wanna punch his stupid face. Grrrrrrrrr. "Iris, let's go!!!"

"Wait, Iris, I heard your friend's going to attend the party this Saturday and... since you're here, can I get your permission to dance with her?"

"CAN YOU SHUT UP?!"

"Yes, of course! You have my blessing."

"Wow! Who are you, my mom??!"

"Iris gave me her blessing, you heard that?" He chuckled. Annoying jerk! :/

"WHAT ABOUT ME?? DO YOU HEAR ME??!"

And no, they do not hear me. I suddenly do not exist on Earth. I stood alone waiting for them to end their chattering.  
  
Then I saw Namjoon answered his phone and started to locate someone from the crowd.

"By any chance, your girlfriend?" Iris finally asked.

"Yeah." He smiled.

***Cue Bruno Mars singing: "Ooooooooh ooooooooh ooooooooh ooooooooh too young, too dumb to realize.."

Babo-cheoreom wae???! *-*


	10. Go Home, Gracie

_**"That light, that light, please illuminate my sins. Where I can't turn back the red blood is flowing down. Deeper deeper, the wounds just keep getting deeper. I feel like dying every day. Please let me be punished. Forgive me for my sins." -Stigma by Kim Taehyung** _

* * *

One funny lazy afternoon at Greenwich with my best friend. Eating my heart out again to the fullest, ya know. :)))))))))))))))))))

"He's really tall and handsome and he seems really cool, too!"

"Pardon?" I said after throwing a sporkful (spoon+fork full) of lasagna into my mouth then munching on a freshly-baked crunchy garlic stick. Uhhhh, sorry I'm really hungry and I haven't eaten anything for breakfast yet.

"Nothing, but, don't you feel like, uhh, a bit disappointed?" 

"Pardon, again. But duhhhhh? You seem so affected over the fact that he's got a girlfriend. Ikaw huh? You're already taken. Ang _harot_ mo pa. I'll tell Jiminie about this, sige ka."

Then she suddenly kicked me under the table and pointed at someone behind me. "Gracie," she whispered. "Hush...don't act too obvious ha? Don't turn around yet but that guy behind you -- mamma mia, he's cute af!!"

I waited for a few minutes before looking at the guy Iris pointed behind me. And holy Spirit!!!! You are welcome in this place!!!! Gosh he's not only cute!! He's handsome, too!! But....

The very moment he stood up from his seat.....

Iris and I locked our eyes.

The pain.

The betrayal.

The horror.

The suffering.

The Holy Trinity!

_**Oh my god.** _

"Confirmed, friend. My radar can't stop alarming like a siren." I blurted out then back to my garlic sticks. 

_HE IS GAY!!!! Wait, don't get me wrong like I'm judging from the gender of the person but..._

**_WHY?!!!!!!!!!!! @_@_ **

If a guy is good-looking, he's either taken, gay or an out-of-reach horrible human being. OR WORSE, A HANDSOME GUY WITH NO ROMANTIC DNA PRESENT IN HIS SYSTEM!!!!! **_WHY, LIFE????_** WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE THIS UNFAIR??! :'(

"Define sayang, beshie." [Sayang= a waste, a bluff]

"Shawn and I." Okay, Shawn again. My god Colynne! Enough with Shawn please. Hashtag Throwback-Thursday drama. Hashtag Taylor Swift songs on the playlist.

"Gracie, look." She kicked me under the table. Again. Really, Iris? WHAT THE FREAK?!!

(-, -) (??・・)σ                                                         \\( ﾟ▽ﾟ)

  
Namjoon smiled at Iris. Yeah, I know. And he chose to ignore me. Or maybe he just didn't really notice me since I'm seated behind the glass wall which has a poster/sticker posted in it.

Wait, not like I care. At least, I can live my life peacefully again.. But, not until Iris pointed at my direction and I saw him smiling at me. 

> * _ **Cause every time you smile, I smile and every time you shine, I'll shine for you.**_ *
> 
> Oh please shut up, Taylor.

Before I had the chance to smile back at him cause I had an internal debate if I'm going to smile back or not, I noticed that he came with some other girl. Perhaps, his girlfriend??

Now, beshie define "sayang". （￣□￣；）

Your life: sayang.

LMAO KIDDING.

\-- 

After my Wednesday classes, I decided to go back to Sto. Tomas. I need to get my dress and items for Saturday night's party. And then I'll be introducing you to my twin.

Yeah, we look very much alike when we were kids. I mean, literally same looks and facial structure, almost same voice and manner of speaking, same height, but the time we hit puberty, he became taller than me and everything.

A brief description of him..

My twin, Caleb is a wallflower. And when I say wallflower, I mean it literally. His room served as a hide-out and he became so introverted after hitting puberty that he rarely talks to anybody about anything. He became silent and distant which is the opposite of what he used to be. My parents say that really happens to young adolescents all the time. Let him take all the time he's needing and run the race on his own pace they say. Caleb is close to Nari, one of my better friends and classmate.

> **_*Maybe.. Maybe he's sick of being hurt. Maybe he's scared of being rejected. Maybe.. Maybe he's sad and empty. Maybe he's still picking up all the broken pieces. Maybe he's just good at pretending. Maybe he knows he's needing someone but maybe he's just protecting himself from people. Maybe he's blocking everyone out because he isn't ready to open his heart for people that are willing to love him and wants the best for him. Maybe he don't believe in anything anymore. Maybe somebody broke his trust. Maybe he's still bleeding from the inside. Maybe he needs a little more time to heal. Maybe he's just tired. Maybe he's trying his best but nobody noticed. Maybe he wants to be alone. Maybe that's why he became so distant and keeps everything to himself.*_ **

The same reason why we aren't close or rather, we used to be. I don't show and people may not notice but somehow I am like him, too. We are totally different but we are still the same. #DNA

A/N: Okay lovelies, enough with the drama and back to the story. :')

Colynne's POV

It was a Thursday morning when I came back to the dorm, and since I was really tired, I slept like Sleeping Beauty early in the morning and until afternoon.

I woke up to Iris reading something from her binder. Is she reviewing again?? Sigh. I'm hungry!

"Uhm.. You busy, Iris...? Let's go 7-11??"

"I am." She glared at me.

"Fine. You want something?"

"Na-ah. Don't need anything. But please comb your hair before going out," she teased.

"Comb? What's that..? Food? Haven't heard of that word before." I replied jokingly.

I picked my coin purse inside my bag then I looked at myself in the mirror. Hmmmm.. I look like a person. I look just fine. It's not like I'm gonna encounter Kim Seokjin on my way to 7/11. Right?

* _ **BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP**_ *

_OH MY GOD._

_***BEEEEEEEEEEEP**_ * * _ **BEEEEEEEEEEP**_ *

"What the--?!!!! Aaaaaaaghhh!! My goodness!!!!"

"Hey, Gracie don't place yourself at the center of the pathway."

"Excuse me, Kimbo, but the road is wide open. What do you think you are driving? A ten-wheeler truck??!" I glared at him and his stupid red motorcycle. Duh.

"It's gonna rain today. Just go home. Where you going?"

"Anywhere but here, mister donut." I smiled sarcastically and he smiled at me. I was trying to intimidate him. But he smiled back to me. What the heck?! This guy really! Ugh. Darn it!

If only I knew I'd meet this KNJ guy here and not Kim Seokjin the most handsome love of my life I should have brought a special grenade launcher right here together with 52 grenades just for him!

"The rain's about to pour. Go home already. Alright? What made you so grumpy, anyway? Have you just woken up?"

"Aye, bingo double chocolate chip cookie! Now get lost." 

"Haha! Figured it out. Bed hair --check! Droopy eyes --check! Wrong pair of slippers --check!"

"What--," PLEASE SPARE ME OH MY GOD @_______@

I looked at my slippers and then......???? @_"+;!?"*_&-$-//$+#_#&-$:@6+#($)$)!!!!!!

I WANNA SLAP THIS GUY WITH A BASEBALL BAT FAR UP INTO THE OUTER SPACE EVEN THE GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND HIS STUPID ASS!!!!!!!!! I BELIEVED HIM. HE WAS TRIPPING ME!

"Just kidding! Gotta go. Bye bye!"

\--

I can't decide if what's more annoying: is it having to deal with Namjoon on my way to 7/11 or my favorite snacks (Pizza flavored Piattos and Bingo cookies) are currently out of stock or is it when the small raindrops started to pour down as soon as I stepped out of 7/11 and I didn't bring an umbrella with me.

But I can always take risk whenever needed. I can talk to the clouds and beg them to stop pouring for a while until I reached the dorm. Also, one of my options is to run run run. But I'm not a good runner. And my heart is not on its best condition still. I'm having asthma attacks on the worst time possible and I can't afford to run without having palpitations. At all. Or I can wither (wait here) like a flower until Iris comes to rescue me. But she's busy with acads. :((

Or I can also.... Hmmmmm....?

"Told you, it's gonna rain."

"W-wait.. Are you following me, again?!"

"Uhh, nope. I came here a little earlier than you. See? I bought these." He explained, showing the small brown 7/11 paper bag he's holding for me to see.

"Fine." No not really.

"You live in the dorm house owned by the Richardsons, right? I can give you a ride home if you want to." He proposed while holding his keys with a silver BTS symbol keychain.

"Thanks, but no, thanks. You should go home now! Anyways, what bad news brought you here?"

A/N: Go home Gracie! Stop being choosy. No one else is coming to save your ass now. LMAO. 

"Being a gentleman, I couldn't leave you. Not here and not now. The rain's getting heavier and besides, you can't attend the party if you get sick. I'm looking forward to dance with you. Are we clear?"

"Woah woah woah! I didn't say yes. Yet. You asked Iris and not me. Slow down there, colonizer!"

"Hmmmm. So, does that mean you don't want to dance with me? Or is it because you're scared of passing out while dancing with me? Kidding aside. I insist anyway." He smiled again then made an "oppa" heart sign. Yuck. So gay! 121 guns please!!!!!!

"Do you have any Pei Pa Koa candy? OH MY GOD. I want to throw up! Heart sign? SO GAY!!!!!" >\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\<

He looked at me seriously this time and tapped my left shoulder. "You know, you're so harsh. :'( Come with me. Let's go. I'll take you home." He took the items I have bought and told me to get on the motorcycle seat. I tried to grab on his shoulders but he said it tickles. And I got no choice but to grip his shirt, on the sides.

The time we arrived in front of the dorm house, he extended the plastic bag of the snacks I've bought that he's been holding during the travel. And again, that stupid smile.

"Welcome." He called back to me.

"Ahhhh. Oh right, thank you." *smiles*  (─‿‿─)

"No biggie. Hahah, you're like a fart."

"What????!! Why?" (ﾟｰﾟ;)

"Acting all cute and innocent but I know you're gonna give in anyway."

"Funny!" I said sarcastically. This guy really has a way of getting into my nerves. Annoying! -_- Good thing I feel somehow indebted to him or else, I should have bombed him with my imaginary grenades.

"Go now. Sige ka, aabutan ka pa ng ulan. You'll get wet and uhhhh atsaka.. uy, wait lang.. Uhm.. Ano pala, Joon... Thank you!"  (¬__¬)

"Haha. Okay. Bye!"

"Bye, can you get your smile off your face?" -Colynne

"Sure, but I can't if you're smiling like that. Bye." :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****If you're reading this, it's likely you've read the first few chapters of the story...thank you so much for sticking with it. :)
> 
> This was my first attempt ever at writing and publishing anything of this nature. So, any and all kudos and comments are very much appreciated. Constructive criticisms are welcome. :) Love you all! xx


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